Month: May 2018

Ryma would have been 46 today. When my mom passed away, she was 50. I remember everyone saying how young she was. Ryma was only 45. As the old saying goes: only the good die young. It’s sad but true.

We’ve had a lot of “firsts” since she’s been gone.

1 ) Angel’s first day of college
2 ) First Halloween
3 ) First All Saints Day
4 ) First Thanksgiving
5 ) First Angel’s Birthday
6 ) First Christmas
7 ) First Jessica’s Birthday
8 ) First New Years
9 ) First Groundhogs Day
10 ) First Valentines Day
11 ) First Saint Patricks Day
12 ) First Easter
13 ) |Angel’s First Full Year of College
14 ) First Randy’s Birthday

And now her first birthday. There’s nothing really profound to say. The firsts don’t get any easier. Maybe the whole round of seconds will…

Below is the full Facebook exchange from last year that I copied the Turtle above from, and below that the turtle from the year before that. Ryma loved turtles, so they’re in her timeline quite frequently.

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Today is our first Mothers’ Day without Ryma, the mother of my precious girls.

The picture above comes from another time, a time when there wasn’t a camera in every phone, nor–for that matter–a phone in every hand. Pictures were rarer then, and all the more precious for it.

I love glimpses like these into Ryma’s life, her childhood, school years, and young adulthood. It helps me get to know the girl I never knew in person, who grew up to be the the incredible woman that I do know.

The picture above is one of my favorites, but it occurs to me today that it also paints an incredible picture of motherhood. Ryma is held in the arms of her mother’s friend (on the right), and Ryma’s mother holds a child of the other (on the left). The three children are now mothers themselves and still friends  (according to Facebook), as are the mothers in the photo. Motherhood spans generations, and it bonds and spans families. I think love is the foundation of motherhood, and in that it even spans death.

Ryma had an awesome mother who raised 4 children, and Ryma herself was an awesome mother who raised 2 daughters. I have no doubt that they in turn, will be awesome mothers when and if they choose that path, because they had an awesome mother and grandmother.

The complement to motherhood, of course, is fatherhood. I have some thoughts on that too, but think I’ll save them for Fathers’ Day. Today is about mothers, and this post about Ryma in particular.

Below is another one of my favorite pictures of Ryma and her mom from many years ago, and below that a couple more recent photos of all three generations. Ryma never met my mother in this life, but I’m sure they’ve met now, so below these other pictures is a little homage to my mother.

 

 

 

 

 

Ryma was one of those rare people who actually like their job. In fact, she loved her job. The picture above is of a luncheon with some of her oldest colleagues, going back to the World Bank’s Jakarta office. She was excited about visiting that day.

At this point we knew she was terminal, but she was participating in a clinical trial that was having some positive effect, and of course we hoped and prayed for a miracle. It was difficult for her to get ready and into the city, but she was determined to make the visit, and have lunch with her friends.

It was also the last time she visited the World Bank. In addition to the luncheon, we happened to cross paths with a number of her other friends and colleagues. An “alert” seemed to go out that Ryma was in the building, because lots of people tracked her down in the cafeteria, and others were waiting in the lobby. It was a good visit, and she enjoyed it tremendously.

It’s hard to believe that visit was a year ago, and even harder to believe that 3.5 months later she was gone.